The Ego - Make Peace with Where You Are

Sometimes when doing the Law Of Attraction work, people will think they are failing if they aren't FEELING GOOD all the time. As we've talked about before, it isn't about trying to be 'fake happy". You are where you are. It doesn't matter if you're at the lowest point of the emotional scale. That's where you are right now. Trying to stuff "good, positive things and thoughts" into your head and trying to feel better by sheer force of will is not going to do it. That's what Abraham-Hicks calls "happy face stickering". What this means is to put a shiny, bright yellow happy-face sticker on top of the gas tank gauge in your car when your car gas tank is empty. If you are running around spiritually empty, with nothing in your gas tank and you ignore it by being "fake happy", you won't be able to begin the journey from where you really are to where you want to be and you're going to eventually run out of gas! You're not going to get anywhere.

So sit right where you are and feel what you're feeling, even if it feels really bad right now. Those are your authentic feelings. The LOA is not about ignoring your feelings, even if they are bad, it's about being aware of where you are on the emotional spectrum, sitting with it if you can't make yourself feel better right now (and not feeling bad about that!), and if you just can't do the work of making yourself feel a little better right this minute, not trying to force it. When you are ready to feel a little better, you'll know, and then you can guide yourself up the scale. If you don't let yourself really feel wherever you are, you can't begin to guide yourself wherever it is you want to go. To use the car analogy again, that's like trying to get into a car and go to your destination without knowing where the heck you're coming from! How will you begin to travel to where you want to go?

When you sit with and let yourself feel the true feelings, that's the way you can finally and honestly Make Peace with Where You Are. When that happens, you will feel relief just because you are accepting your true feelings. Sometimes we aren't allowed to feel our true feelings, we listen to the people around us, their opinions and suggestions of how we "should" feel and it's only when we really accept our own feelings and are ok with being wherever it is we are, whether it is anger, jealousy, frustration, despair, it doesn't matter, that we can begin to move in the right direction again. It's about being ok with wherever you are and making peace with it.

And when you do feel bad, you shouldn't beat yourself up for not doing this perfectly or not being what you think the people and society need you to be. Get everyone else out of the picture. Absolutely forget everyone else right now, and try to let go of your ego a little bit. That's the part of us that we define from the outside things we have, our looks, our job, our "perfect" family, our "net worth", etc. It may seem hard at first, since that is the way most of society defines us, but we don't have to buy into that definition of who-we-are or our importance or worthiness.

We are all worthy simply because we exist!

Our ego is our self-image, but from a purely outer perspective. Your ego is really your false self. It doesn't fit in so well when we begin to become spiritually aware and it hinders us from living the self-empowered and fulfilling life we deserve to live. Trying to minimizing my ego is one of the most important things I've attempted doing for myself. And I say minimize, because we can't completely get rid of it while we're in physical form! And I say attempted to do because it's always an ongoing process.

Religious and spiritual traditions tell us that we are all made of the same creative source energy, but from our youth, we are led though the process of "individuation" which teaches us that we are all separate and places us in competition with each other from an early age. Do you know what the opposite of competition is? It's friendship. So when we are in competition with those around us, including competition with our own ego, we cannot be living in friendship.

We've talked about this being a non-competitive, abundant universe. You can see it all around you if you choose to see it. There is enough of everything for everybody. You can't force nature to stop growing. We are always finding new and better ways of doing things. The creative energy of the Universe is simply unlimited and we all have access to it, if we can get our egos out of the way a little bit.

Attempting to minimize the ego can be important as you begin your journey using the Law of Attraction. The primary motivation of the ego is one of outer self-importance and self-image. When you see that what is really important is what you already have inside you, the part of you that is connected to Universal Energy, or God Force, you'll be able to let go of getting your ego needs met from the outside. From society or someone else telling us "Wow, you have a great job, or you're so pretty, or you have a lot of money, etc, etc." You will not need to have a partner or other people outside of you making you feel worthy.

You will know that you are perfect and whole just as you are.

The ego is what keeps us separate from everyone and everything else. It lets us judge ourselves and others. To help minimize the ego, try some of these exercises:

For one day, try not to judge anything or anyone else around you, including and especially yourself. Notice how many times you begin to feel like judging someone else, or yourself, for anything, clothes, hair, the way they speak, whatever. This is a great exercise in awareness.

Ask yourself, during times or turmoil or conflict with someone else, "Is it better to be right, or better to be happy?" Your ego is the only one who cares whether you are right.

Step into the role of the ultimate observer. When you feel that people outside of you are judging you and your ego feels the need to respond, simply say, "This is not mine. I refuse to own this." If you feel worried, guilty or ashamed, emotions that always come from ego consciousness, realize that, that is your ego, it isn't really you and say, SO WHAT?!"What does this really mean in the big scheme of things?

The ego is what makes us become hurt or offended by the behavior and actions of those around us. When you minimize the ego, you become unhurtable and unoffendable. You won't be bothered when someone does or says something that could have hurt you in the past. You see the people around you each as part of a whole. You see yourself and others with newfound compassion and love, knowing that we come forth from the same creative source that is God.

We live in a society focused on the outer self. We have become conditioned to believe we are what we do or how much we have. Think about it, when you meet someone, the first question is always, "What do you do?" Most people take these answers and immediately categorize and judge the answerer. And the person answering may define themselves as being just that and judge themselves. But if you are what you do or what you have, then what happens when you stop doing what you do or you no longer have what you define yourself by? You are more than your profession, your net worth, or your title. Let go of the need to be externally defined and sustained. Affirm your own worth and let that be enough.